Jump to content

Talk:Kristina Tkach

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:09, 4 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Kristina Tkach

(
)

Created by Lee Vilenski (talk). Self-nominated at 21:43, 23 June 2019 (UTC).[reply]

  • Article is new enough, long enough, with adequate citations in the prose. Of the two hooks, ALT1 is cited inline and verified. No close paraphrasing was found. However, in the lede, there is an extra "(" character, and the "Achievements" section is completely unsourced. QPQ also still pending. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 13:01, 24 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks, should be good to go now. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 14:25, 24 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Hi, I came by to promote this, but the ALT1 hook, while hooky, doesn't read smoothly. I also added more information from the source to the article, so DYK readers won't just see the same sentence there as in the hook. BTW the source says it was broken while being carried out to the parking lot, not "before leaving the arena". Could we write:
  • ALT1a: ... that a Waterford crystal trophy won by Russian pool player Kristina Tkach at the Women's Pro Players Championship broke in half as it was carried out of the arena? Yoninah (talk) 21:09, 20 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 12:11, 21 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Direct quote is "As it was being carried out to a vehicle in preparation for Tkach’s exit from the Expo Center, the box it was in, was dropped, shattering the bowl into the proverbial ‘million pieces.’" I think it's confusing, as it says about it coming in two pieces before, but they just meant it wasn't one item before it broke. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 07:44, 26 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Any update on this, Narutolovehinata5, Cwhiraeth? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 20:43, 19 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Lee Vilenski, I would imagine that the next move is yours, since ALT1a says "broke in half", yet the quote you gave says "proverbial 'million pieces' ", which as Cwmhiraeth notes, is something completely different. Looking at the source, it seems clear to me: the trophy comes in two pieces: a crystal bowl, and a base the bowl presumably sits on. The box holding the trophy was dropped, and the bowl shattered. You need to propose a new hook for the nomination to proceed; I have struck Yoninah's ALT1a, the only hook that had remained, because it simply isn't accurate. (Please note: the article itself also needs to be adjusted, because it uses the inaccurate "broke in half" language.) BlueMoonset (talk) 14:57, 20 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
I think you need the passive tense "was broken", something like this Cwmhiraeth (talk) 15:19, 20 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • ALT1c ... that a Waterford Crystal trophy, won by Russian pool player Kristina Tkach at the Women's Pro Players Championship, was dropped and broke as it was being carried out of the arena?
ALT1d sounds okay to me. If there are no more objections then this should be good to go with that hook. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 08:57, 22 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
I was about to approve this, but there's still an inconsistency in the article: it appears that the consensus here is to use the word "shatter", but the article still says "broke in half", despite an issue being raised with that wording here. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 04:32, 2 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Changed in prose Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 06:16, 2 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks, should be good to go now: the shattering wording has been verified and is now in the article. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 02:07, 4 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review

GA toolbox
Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:Kristina Tkach/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 12:30, 2 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]


Comments

  • Lead is a little short for me, perhaps one or two more sentences to cover her achievements?
I've completely reworded the lede. It needed to be much better. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • No need to link Russia in the opening sentence.
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "in 8-Ball and " shouldn't we be calling that "8-ball" or even "eight-ball"?
Fixed throughout the article. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • " Tkash won the 2" no need to repeat her surname so quickly, there's no confusion over who "She" would be if we used that instead of Tkash.
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "won the 2016 European champion in" either "became" or "championship" there. And if the latter, be careful with capitalisation.
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • " a nine time " needs hyphenation.
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Why do I need three citations for her date of birth in the infobox?
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • You need to ensure that material you cover in the lead is at least re-covered in the article and (preferably) expanded, e.g. you go straight into her career without mentioning her birth date and place in the prose. Is there anything else about her early life we can find?
Working Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
There's very little - but there is enough to cover what's in the lede. Added Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:59, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "After finishing third at the Russian Under 18 Championship 2008 " she must have only been nine years old! Worth a mention.
I wasn't sure if she was eight or nine, sources don't say. I've added a mention Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Under 18 Championship 2008 in Eight-ball, " usually expect to see "Under-18" hyphenated, and that "Eight" should be "eight".
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • " Tkach moved in 2009 to the Straight pool Moscow Under 18 City Championship final,...." runs on too much and this reads a little odd "moved in 2009 to the Straight pool..." and "Straight" doesn't need capitalisation here.
reworded Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • " in 9-ball and 10-Ball her" again, consistency in nomenclature and capitalisation throughout the article.
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "first two out of a total of 20 titles" 2/20 or two/twenty.
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "At the ladies city championship, lost in the final" sentence is missing a "she" and is this championship a "thing", i.e. is that what it's called, because I'd expect it to be (at the least) "ladies' city championship" if not be capitalised if it's a proper title.
Reword Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "t European Youth Championships," is piped to a redirect.
Fixed Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • " in both the disciplines 10-ball and 9-ball." this isn't really good English at all.
Reworded Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ditto the next sentence, almost like Yoda is talking.
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "(10-ball) and Darja Sirotina (9-Ball). " Ball/ball, 10/ten, 9/nine etc etc.
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "in both the straight and in the 10-ball events" -> "in both the straight and 10-ball events"
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • " immediately winning her first medal, finishing second at the " -> "and won her first medal by finishing..."
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "She had moved into the final and was defeated " unnecessary really, just "defeated in the final by Jasmin Ouschan".
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "U18 champion" Under-18.
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "all five disciplines for" I don't know what they all are...
added a note Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "quarterfinal " one word or hyphenated, be consistent across all similar instances.
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "after she was eliminated in the final round in 14.1 in the first round and in the 10-ball in the quarterfinals, she reached the final of 8-ball," horrible sentence, can we re-work?
reworded Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "winning 6–3 against Kateryna Polowyntschuk, winning" repetitive.
reworded Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • " defeating Marharyta Fjafilawa 7–3, winning her first" perhaps to avoid so many "ing ing" constructions, this (and others) could be rephrased along the lines of " defeating Marharyta Fjafilawa 7–3, to win her first"...?
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • " The win put Tkach as ranked number one" -> " The win made Tkach the number one-ranked player on the Euro Tour" perhaps?
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • " next to Darja Sirotina was t" "along with Darja Sirotina, was".
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "before losing t" -> "where she lost to".
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "She won her fifth Euro Tour medal at the 2017 Portugal Open" eh? previous para talked about the very same tournament...
Typo, talking about seperate years. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "As runner-up of the one-year ranking of the Euro Tour after the Portugal Open," does this really mean "After finishing second in the one-year rankings on the Euro Tour..."?
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the later gold " subsequent.
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "of the junior women" -> "for junior women".
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "become Junior world champion" why only capitalise the J?
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "of Waterford crystal" capital C for Crystal.
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "European championships in " capital C?
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "with runner-up appearances in 2014 and 2016" runner-up finishes?
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • " Atlantic continental championship Atlantic Challenge Cup" again, poor English, I would remove "Atlantic continental championship" altogether.
 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 15:34, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

That's enough for a first pass, quite a lot of work needed on the grammar, so it's on hold. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 12:07, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I've gone through these. Just working on an early life section.
Thanks for taking a good look at this one TRM, I appreciate this one needed some work. I think I've got through this one (ignore the ref errors, it's site wide). Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:59, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Okeydokes, I made a couple of final tweaks but this meets the GA criteria now so I'm happy to pass it. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 19:06, 4 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Retrieved from "https://wiki.eso.workers.dev/w/index.php?title=Talk:Kristina_Tkach&oldid=1209894428"